Sunday, August 14, 2016
Beautiful Message for success and happiness
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Change Negative Beliefs About Yourself
1. Create an affirmation – If you’ve ever tried to use affirmations, you know they
can be tough to believe initially. In For example, in my own evolution the question looks like,
“Why am I able to so easily, comfortably and accurately calculate sums?”
Action step: Identify a belief you want to change and construct a
question around it . Ask yourself the question repeatedly when you wake up and
just before you go to bed. Don’t look for a conscious answer; let your brain’s
reticular-activating system (a network of nerve pathways that mediates your
overall level of consciousness) initiate a scan for solutions.
2.
Drop your assumptions. Having the belief that something
that happened in the past will always happen that way in the present or future
creates a fantasy that can hold you back. Past lack of success in no way
predicts or affects the outcome of an action this time around. I’ve had to
deliberately practice being open to the fact that I actually can
accurately compute.
Action step: Practice being open to change. You don’t have to believe it
will happen or know exactly when. Focus instead on developing an attitude that
allows for the idea that change might occur. For example, you might say
to yourself, “I’m open to shifting my belief about _________.”
3. Transform resistance. Whenever you try to change something, there will be a part
of you that opposes the idea. At the bottom of any resistance is
fear—especially fear of change. You can gently decrease resistance when you
acknowledge it, identify the fear, and make a plan to ameliorate it. For
me
this means acknowledging I’m afraid to look stupid if I inaccurately compute a
sum in front of others. Ways to lessen the fear could include anything from
taking deep breaths to calm myself before calculating so that my mind is clear,
to practicing computing at first only in front of people I trust, to giving
myself plenty of time and resources to solve the equation.
Action step: Answer the following questions: When it comes to the
belief you want to change, what part of you resists changing it? Why? What
fear does that relate to? What would it take to lessen the fear?
4. Craft a new story. There are many interpretations of every moment. The one
you’re carrying around is neither the only one nor the only accurate one. It’s
time to create a new story around the old belief. For a long time my story has
been, “I can’t do math.” But another story exists: My nine-year-old self got
spooked by the pressure to not be “stupid” at the same time she was attempting
to learn a new skill (computing within a set timeframe). For a child who valued
being a good student, the stress understandably caused a short-term
interruption in her ability to effortlessly solve the equations.
Action step: With your older and more mature perspective, look back on
the day(s) that formed the belief you want to change. Notice what other stories
could be told to explain the situation. Frame four other possible and positive beliefs
that are equally represented in the experience.
5.
Suspend judgment. Every time you criticize yourself
for that old belief you make it stronger, because you weaken your connection to
one of your greatest assets: self-compassion. Instead, access kindness,
humanity, and mindfulness to create an internal support system built on
acceptance, appreciation, and optimism. Forgiveness, too, can be a key element
in this step. I’ve had to focus on forgiving myself for that long-ago “failure”
and shift my attention to what I can only describe as transcendence. When I
approach a math problem now, a part of me rises above the moment, forgives
those old doubts, accepts and appreciates my apprehension, and yet believes I
can easily arrive at the solution. It’s this strong, calm, and peaceful part
that proceeds to do the calculation.
Action step: Create a space in yourself where you have already achieved
success, as if the task of change is behind you. Imagine that the timeline of
your life stretches into the future in one direction and into the past in
another. Face the future. Now imagine that in your timeline, behind you is an
object that represents the old belief. Push it back into your timeline as far
as it will go. Then take a deliberate step forward.
6. Change your approach. So often when we want to change something about ourselves,
we place our attention on stopping something—for example, changing our health
by stopping overeating, drinking, smoking, and so on. Thinking about what you
want to stop focuses your mind on what you don’t want it to do.
Switch your attention to the thing you do want. I’ve had to stop hoping
I don’t make a mistake and shift my focus instead to how I will be able to be
accurate in my calculation.
Action step: Identify the desired result and develop a new belief to
support it. Then think about how to create the kind of environment and
experience necessary to achieve success.
7.
Shift from expectation to intention.
An expectation is a strong belief that something will happen in the
future. When circumstances beyond your control interfere with success, it’s
easy to experience a setback. An intention, however, is how you plan to
approach a task or experience. This is always within your control, which means
it offers more solid ground on which to build your desire for change. I really
love this step because it’s helped me eliminate the expectation that I’ll make
a
mistake. Now I focus on how I intend to create a successful approach to doing
math.
Action step: Set your intention for how you’re going to embody changing
this belief: “I intend to ____ by _____.” Use this sentence as a guide for your
future actions.
All these years later, I appreciate
that the fear of my nine-year-old self that produced the negative belief about
my ability to do math was understandable for a child striving for excellence.
But now, in my 40s, do I need to worry about how long it takes to add in my
head? Not really! That’s why I intend to allow myself all the time I need for
every math problem as I continue to develop and deepen neural pathways around
my new belief: “I can accurately calculate mathematical equations.”
What’s your intention for the belief
you choose to change?
Ajay Singh
Ajay Singh
See other Blog by this Blogger
New Day New Hope For self improvement
My Nation My Pride For political satire
Saturday, March 14, 2015
10 Simple ways to Become a Leader
Success is some total of your personality,behaviour and many other traits which one possess.One important element is that you should have pleaseing personality which is liked by the team you are working with. This comes with some personal qulaities which are simple, and yet, we often lose sight of the simple things - things
that not only make us human, but can actually help us become more successful.
Below are the ten such important principles to become a better
leader:
1. Listening
Listening is the foundation of any good relationship. Great
leaders listen to what their customers and prospects want and need, and they
listen to the challenges those customers face. They listen to colleagues and
are open to new ideas. They listen to shareholders, investors, and competitors.Most often this brings solution to problem which you are looking for,but just being impetiant listenr we ofetn loose this opportunity. This one quality will make you popular and help you take better decision.
2. Tell a story
After listening, leaders need to tell great stories in order
to sell their products.
Storytelling is what captivates people and drives them to take action. Whether
you're telling a story to one prospect over
lunch, a boardroom full of people, or thousands of people through an online video - storytelling wins customers. Remember it shall attract your listeners when it is true,still better if you yourselve have experienced it.
lunch, a boardroom full of people, or thousands of people through an online video - storytelling wins customers. Remember it shall attract your listeners when it is true,still better if you yourselve have experienced it.
3. Authenticity
Great leaders are who they say they are, and they have
integrity beyond compare. Vulnerability and humility are hallmarks of the authentic
leader and create a positive energy. Customers, employees, and
media all want to help an authentic person to succeed. There used to be a
divide between one’s public self and private self, but the social internet has
blurred that line. Tomorrow's leaders are transparent about who they are
online, merging their personal and professional lives together.
4. Transparency
Openness and honesty lead
to happier staff, customers and colleagues. More important, transparency
makes it a lot easier to sleep at night - unworried about what you said to whom. A happy and cool leader is more productive this will come easily when you are transparent too..
5. Team Playing
No matter how small or big your organization is, you have to interact with many people every day. Letting others shine, encouraging innovative ideas,
practicing humility, and following rules for working in teams,it will help
you become a more likeable leader.
6. Be Responsive
The best leaders are responsive to their customers, staff,
investors, and prospects. Every stakeholder today is a potential viral
sparkplug, for better or for worse, and the winning leader is one who
recognizes this and insists upon a culture of responsiveness. Whether the
communication is email, voice mail, a note or a a tweet, responding shows you
care and gives your customers and colleagues a say, allowing them to make a
positive impact on the organization.
7. Be Adoptive
There has never been a faster-changing marketplace than the
one we live in today. Leaders must be flexible in managing changing
opportunities and challenges and nimble enough to pivot at the right moment.
Stubbornness is no longer desirable to most organizations. Instead, humility
and the willingness to adapt mark a great leader.
8. Passion
No one is tired beacuse of more work but tires easily by not liking the work.Those who love what they do don’t have to work a day in
their lives. People who are able to bring passion to their business have a
remarkable advantage, as that passion is contagious to customers and colleagues
alike. Finding and increasing your passion will absolutely affect your bottom
line.
9. Surprise and Delight
Most people like surprises in their day-to-day lives.
Likeable leaders underpromise and overdeliver, assuring that customers and
staff are surprised in a positive way. There are a plethora of ways to surprise
without spending extra money - a smile, We all like to be delighted — surprise
and delight create incredible word-of-mouth marketing opportunities.
10. Express Gratefulness
Good leaders are ever grateful for the people who
contribute to their opportunities and success. Being appreciative and saying
thank you to mentors, customers, colleagues, and other stakeholders keeps
leaders humble, appreciated, and well received.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Six Steps to Resolve Project Conflict
A
manager once told me that there could be a better manager if they had better
people to manage.
Of
course, good people managers can work with all kinds of people, and don't shy
away from the challenge of working through difficulty. This is especially true
when there is conflict on a project. You need to face the conflict and not
ignore it. Ignoring it only makes the problem worse. The earlier you face it,
the easier it will be to resolve.
Conflict
can occur with your managers, your peers or your staff. Here are some examples
of conflict you might experience on projects.
- Your boss is frustrated with progress and takes it out on you openly, in front of others in your team.
- Your colleague wants something from you that you can't provide, or can't do for them within the timeframe required so they get angry.
- Your staff think you're being unrealistic about timeframes, so they handle it badly by raising their voice and being obstructive.
When
conflict occurs, take these steps:
- Take a time out. If you or the other person is getting heated, tell them you need to take five minutes to collect your thoughts. Even though you asked for the five minutes, it is really for the other party to cool off as well. Make a coffee,a glass of water and deep breath or go for a walk. It might be surprising how a short walk or dep breath can help you relax. This will help you both to calm down and reflect on what has happened.
- Defuse the situation. When you restart your conversation, start with a disarming comment such as "Sorry. I have been under pressure." or "Let's start over again.". This will make the atmosphere more positive.
- Identify the cause of the conflict. Many times when emotion is high you may lose site of the actual cause of the conflict. State your perception of the cause and see if the other party agrees.
- Solve the problem. The nature of "confrontation" is that you need to "confront" the problem and solve it. Both parties need to work together to resolve it constructively. Discuss the various solutions to the problem and try to agree on the pros and cons of each before deciding on the best course of action.
- Observe body language. While all this is happening, you need to focus on your body language. Use open stances. Take your hands out of your pockets and never fold your arms. Try and use slow hand movements. Use a passive voice. Maintain good eye contact. Listen carefully and watch their body language as well.
- Agree on a course of action - and follow-through. This helps to ensure the conflict is resolved and also builds trust that will help defuse similar situations in the future.
You can
utilize these simple techniques to turn a conflict into a team-building and learning
opportunity.
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